We Have Moved

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The Rare Title of a Biography

                                                         

Very Perplexed, Agitated in Spirit, Greatly Troubled and Trying to Discern, Troubled and Pondering in Heart, Startled and Wondered...Does these titles mean anything to you? Will they be the title of the biography of someone you know?

These are words that sometimes describe me. 3 kids who are homeschooled and 4th on the way,  involved in ministry, most days I am the person with the above title's. Sometimes a responsibility, sometimes a nudge to be faithful, other times a call to die and humble, when ever they happen or I sense God sending them my way, the above title's describe my default mode. They describe the  pattern of my minds function.

Insane- no! greatly troubled- yes!

Now, before you call the children's social worker hotline on me...

The above words are also the ones I saw describing  another woman in the bible. A woman I look up to. Her name is Mary and these feelings that she had are written in Luke 1: 29.

"But she was greatly troubled at the saying, and tried to discern what sort of greeting this might be."

God send something new Mary's way, like me her first reaction was to be perplexed, agitated in spirit, troubled and startled.

What God send Mary's way and what Mary was troubled with was nothing but a statement of greeting-

"And he came to her and said, “Greetings, O favored one, the Lord is with you!”

To which she responded with the above mentioned words in different versions.

 Mary knew the unusual greeting can challenge the rhythm of her life. She knew it was going to rock her life, nevertheless her greatness is that she embraced that calling.

"And Mary said, “Behold, I am the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word.” And the angel departed from her. " Luke 1:38

Not everyday does an angel come to my door greeting me and calling me the most favored one. But everyday His sovereignty points me to and brings to me a highly favored greeting and a calling to  conceive what looks like the most glorious, but the most painful and difficult calling to surrender to. I know saying yes to it will cost me my life, my hopes for comfort, and my desires and plans for safety and fun.

Nevertheless with the most unusual greeting also lies the potential for the coming forth of a king and His kingdom that was much awaited and much hoped for.

Dear woman of God, whatever it is that God has send your way that is causing you much agitation, much trouble, much wonder, remember the most unusual greeting that you hear from God has the potential in it to bring forth the kingdom of God and a savior to all the people if only you would go beyond the agitation, embrace it and surrender to it.

Update:

This is an article that was written in 2014. We had the 4th baby. Yes, I continue to be very perplexed and Trying to Discern at the new challenges God brings every day. Surrender is not an option but a grace clinging ride and rewards are the perspective received when God occasionally lets me see the grand scheme through His eyes. 

Winter Realities Part-1

                                                                                                     

EVERY winter my curry leaf plant looks as though it is dead and beyond recovery. EVERY year my husband gives up on it and EVERY time my husband makes a comment on my curry leaf plant's tragic demise, I jump to its rescue as its sole defender and takes up the case to prove otherwise- because I have seen, and are familiar with-a pattern.

"There are two ways to look at it," I say. "My plant is not dead, its dormant. The harsh winter has made it dormant. Let this winter pass and you will see life again." He looks at me, chuckles at my fierceness and says, "wow, I know someone who sure is not dead!"

Doing too much has been my other name for sometime now. I take pleasure in productivity. Relying on the righteousness of Christ alone is scary for me, I need works- real works to go with it and prove life within me. Over the years there was a pattern building in me. Fruitfulness equals productivity and more the productivity more life.

And then God allows winter spiritual realities.

There are times in our Christian life God lets us go through harsh winters. Where life is not visible outside and people give up on you. You are sidelined and rejected. Rather than trusting Christ's righteousness in us in those times, we are tempted to produce our own righteousness. Because we can't face our perceived uselessness. Oh, how we want to bring to the table our fruits.We want to prove we are not dead. We resists the winter schedule the Master ordains. It feels severe to us.

Sadly, God ordains that to make our soul harvest plentiful the next season.

One of the most major battles while being closed in/ being benched by God is

Purposelessness

We are used to a pattern of finding purpose and proving purpose with productivity. Life equals thriving luscious leaves for some of us. Harsh winters and near spiritual death makes us believe the lie- I am not needed or wanted anymore. I am useless.

We derive our meaning in Christian life by being involved, and from belonging to a cause. Sometimes we also base our identity and usefulness on participating in a cause. And then it happens, Boom! Boom! Bam!! The Coach call us to the benches and ask us to watch the play! What an insult to our performance. On the outside, we are sitting; but on the inside we are so on the fields.

How to Survive The Harsh Winters of Soul

A) Manage the Immediate- What ever your hands find to do, do it with all your might (Ecclesiastes 9:10). Even when we think we are not producing, there is much needed to survive and not die. We are all called to be managers of our immediate. There are so many areas in our immediate that are untended and uncared that could use our might. May be this is the time to cut back on everything else and focus on our heart and spiritual survival that it may not die.

When my curry leaf plant shuts down, its dead to everyone else, but I know there is much work at the roots to just let the plant survive. There are seasons God calls us into seclusion to cut back and rest.

And he said to them, “Come away by yourselves to a desolate place and rest a while.” For many were coming and going, and they had no leisure even to eat. (Mark 6:31)

B) Understand God's Definition of Fruitfulness- In God's economy, usefulness and productivity have another name-"abiding."

"If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples." (John 15: 7,8 emphasis mine)

"By this..." By what? - It's when you abide, God sees you fruitful and when God is most glorified. When harsh winters occur in spiritual life, its important to know that if I abide in Him and let His words abide in me, I am fruitful according to God. Understanding God's definition will set us free from feelings of uselessness.

C) Be Single Minded- When we are in the benches and when we feel useless, it's hard to cheer for the other players. Paul was in prison in Rome when he wrote, " Some indeed preach Christ from envy and rivalry, but others from good will...The former proclaim Christ out of selfish ambition, not sincerely but thinking to afflict me in my imprisonment. What then? Only that in every way, whether in pretense or in truth, Christ is proclaimed, and in that I rejoice. Yes, and I will rejoice." Phil (1:16-18)

Paul felt trapped in the prison, when the work was going on in Philippians. Not only that he could not do his heart's desire ( of laboring for God's kingdom), he had to face preachers with false motives that could have instigated ill feelings in Paul. Paul was an unusual man. He was not given in to ill feelings, but he rejoiced that Christ was preached anyway!

We need to be unusual people like Paul who possess that single mindedness and who knows the seasons and defer to them. If victory of the team is what we desire, regardless of who is playing, we can still rejoice in the benches and cheer the team on. But, it takes single mindedness that says,

"I want you to know, brothers, that what has happened to me has really served to advance the gospel..." (Phil 1:12)

"What then? Only that in every way, whether in pretense or in truth, Christ is proclaimed, and in that I rejoice. Yes, and I will rejoice." (Phil 1:18)

"For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain." (Phil 1:21)

A friend of mine shared this story with me of a time when she took a retreat and was sitting by the bank of a river reflecting on the challenges in her life and she saw how near the banks of the river, the water was muddy and farther away deeper into the river the water was clear. The muddy water looked useless and ugly and took away the beauty of the place. In looking close though she saw many organisms thriving in the muddy water. There was life happening right there that looked so ugly a moment ago.

Those muddy water were very much needed for the ecosystem. what is released into the deeper water is usually originated in the ugly useless muddy banks.

Dear ones, do not give up on life that is happening right now in the muddy benches of your life.

Have you been through near death experiences in your spiritual journey? Have you felt purposeless? How did you survive?

Are Ewe Consistent?

The most important weapon against the enemy is not a stirring sermon or a powerful book; it is the consistent life of believers.” Warren Wiersbe

What are some areas in your life that you think is getting out of hand? Return ewe to the shepherd and overseer of your souls. Begin by taking small steps in the direction you need to go. Be consistent in keeping them. Many times, we think of Christian duties as things to get done. Things in our check list that we can check off and say, “we did it”. But a victorious Christian life is not about getting things done, it is about consistently being and doing the same things. Our Christian duties will never get done. (By duty I mean our walk before the Lord.) Happy are ewe if you give yourself to consistent undertaking of your duties and a coming back to it again and again to pick up where we left off.

Our battles are won not when we check off our duties, but when we check back in to pick up where we left off. 

Blessings to ewe today as you pick up ewe’r walk to follow the one who sought after ewe.

Give the Ruler to Your Children

I taught my girl how to measure length when she was five. I gave her a tool to measure - a ruler. Even before I gave her the ruler she was still measuring, but quite inaccurately, and her perspective was limited. Armed with her ruler now she measured everything appropriately around her. She measured the length, the width and the height. When things did not fit in and she was ready to give up and move on, I gently taught her to tilt the ruler.

At times she had to turn the ruler from vertical to horizontal so whatever she was measuring could fit in. She measured the table, the chair, the shelf, even the palm of my hands.

She said, "mama, 'this' is longer than 'that'." She not only measured...she compared. She put things in perspective.

The ruler was the first measure she used. A ruler with lots of markings. When a small ruler could not fit in what she was measuring, she asked me for a bigger ruler.

Then there were things that were crooked. Things that could not fit in. When something did not fit in, she needed to change her pace. She needed to change her approach. She needed to make adjustments. She learnt everything could be measured as long as she had the right sized tool and the right approach.

At five, I just gave her a tool to measure the things around her, their length, width and height. As she grows, I will give her more tools to measure the physical world around her. She will learn to measure the weight the temperature the pressure and so on.

And then as her world grows, there will come a time when she needs to measure the spiritual world she is in. I need to give her the right tool to measure it. I bet she is already measuring, but I can see how she falls short of the right perspective when she says mama, "this" is better than "that." When things don't quite fit in, how she is ready to give up and move on. I see how without the right tool and right approach she can inherit a distorted perspective.

So, I need to give her the right tool again and lead her in the right approach.

This time it is again the Ruler. The Ruler and not the ruler. The Ruler with His markings. There is only one Ruler, no smaller and bigger ruler. She might have to take the Ruler with His markings and tilt it different ways, just so everyone and everything would fit in where it needs to.

My child, learn your Ruler. Learn His markings well. Learn His scribblings well so you know its worth. As you go out into the world, take this Ruler with you. Take your Ruler not the ruler with you, as He tilts, tilt yourself and you would see the scribblings well that makes you and your world fit in the grand scheme. He is the measure. Let him help you to measure things for its worth. Let Him help you to see and measure yourself well.

He is not just the Ruler, He is the Leveler too. He levels that is which is crooked. When you let the Ruler measure and give you spiritual understanding and you figure that they still don't fit in, you need to change your pace, your approach and still you know your adjustments are not quite making it right,

Know my child, that He levels what you let Him rule and measure.

I will go before you and will level the mountains; I will break down gates of bronze and cut through bars of iron. Isaiah 45:2

There are also things that are concealed, things that you will not be able to measure or understand, Know my child that the Ruler still rules and He will one day level it.

Curriculum Choices 2014/15

Every year before school starts, we go through a crazy time of ordering the books, supplies and making sure we are armed with everything we need for the year. Now it is a sad thing that I usually don't have the same energy and enthusiasm once we hit the second semester. There are many books not touched and not all lessons finished at the end of the year. The reasons are many and varied.

Children found the subject too hard/ too easy.
Life got busy and we never got to doing those lessons.
The Teacher ( Um... that's me!) lost interest in the subject.
I probably invested too much money on something that was not really necessary for their age or development.

My children are really small. I still spend a lot time to read up reviews and pick up books and curriculum that suits their personalities and our life style.  That is what I have always liked about homeschooling. You can customize your children's education. You can mold them into what God had made them to be, with prayers and discernment in choosing the right form of education for them.

A few years ago I stumbled upon a forum called the well trained mind forum. Though it is very popular among homeschoolers, I had not seen it up until then. I became a voracious reader of the forum and filled a lot of gaps on the different kinds of education and how to understand your child's learning style etc. It was comforting and enlightening to know that all my children have differing learning styles, and just because one curriculum worked with one person does not mean that it should with the other kid. That is also when I heard about Classical Education for the first time.

The more I read about Classical Education the more convinced I became that this is how I want to build their foundation. You can read more about Classical Education here; http://www.welltrainedmind.com/classical-education/ So when it was time to pick up their curriculum, I added in a mix of Classical Education. This is our Curriculum choice for the 2014-2015 school year.

"Big Girl"- Second Grade

Bible- Grapevine Bible Studies
Language Arts- Abeka- Letters and Sounds 2, Language 2
Spelling- Abeka Spelling and Poetry 2
Reading-  Memoria Press Second Grade Literature. (Classical)
Writing- Writing with Phonics Abeka
Math- Math U See Alpha(brush through), Beta and Singapore Math
Science- Apologia- Exploring Creation with Astronomy
History-  Story of the World Volume 1
Latin- Memoria Press- Prima Latina

Mixture of Crafts and Arts
Music- Piano lessons

"Big Man"- First Grade

Bible- Grapevine Bible Studies
Language Arts- Abeka Letters and Sounds 1, Language 1
Reading- Memoria Press First Grade Classical Literature
Math- Math U See- Primer
Writing- Writing With Phonics 1
Science, Latin and History- attends the class with "Big Girl". He is not expected to get everything or take tests,though.
Music- Guitar lessons

"Little Man"- Preschool

Learn to read with Hooked on phonics
Counting to 100, counting by 2, 5,10
Play, Play, Play!

School Room Make Over Tips

I have spent hours fussing over the state of books on the shelf and thought of many ideas to keep the books from falling over. I am not a born organizer, and organizing and maintaining some sort of system comes slow to me. I have often wished there was  self clean button on my book shelf like that of the oven.

The domino falling of the text books was almost driving me crazy and left the book shelf non functional.

After putting up the books every now and then, I realized I had some people lying around in the house who are wasting their lives that I could put to use. I enlisted some super powers to help me hold the books up. The rule is simple- if you want to live in my house, you need to work and put in your chores.

Kids were so proud of their super powers and the work they did for me, their creative minds found other chores for their buddies. They hijacked my "employees" without my permission and left my book shelf back to where we first started- Domino school days!

Before the launch of this school year, I spent some time praying and planning and researching ideas on how to keep the school shelf functioning without me spending my time putting the books back up standing every now and then. That is when I stumbled upon this life saver- Magazine holder.

Magazine holder has been the best find for me this school year. So far. 

I went to work immediately. I ordered some from Amazon and later found some in dollar store. I wrapped them up with gift wrap ( couldn't stand their plainness) and stacked them on the shelf with text books in them, sorted according to subjects. If I needed parent manual, I just need to get the one labeled parent manual, that way no falling of text books domino style when one book is pulled out. 

Basically I divided the shelf into 5, one for each kid and two for extra books. I was able to put 5 magazine holders per shelf for the older kids. I could easily slip all their work books and any associated text books into each magazine holder. 

Now they look neat and functional, most importantly non-domino school days!

Here is the full shelf- My new Super Power- Magazine Holder System.

We also had another cabinet organizer in the school room  that needed labeling and sorting. I store all the craft supplies, toys, school supplies, manipulative, flash cards, paint supplies etc in this. 

I feel like I have tackled the major part of school room. Now to put them to good use.